What's with teenagers these days and their never-ending demands for money?!
My
17-year-old son is a big fan of the local Starbucks here in Greater Noida,
where he and a bunch of his teenager friends often hang out. While they usually
have limited amounts of cash to spend there, they know there’s always UPI
payments. While my son is still two months away from having his own savings
bank account and cannot yet make UPI payments on his own, some of his friends
do have a PayTM wallet and can make payments. For bigger payments,
which they can’t manage on their own, all they have to do is call up somebody
or the other’s parents, share a QR code and the payment is made.
Most parents – certainly including my wife and I – have come to accept the fact that everyday there will be demands for UPI payments. Cabs. Coffee. Snacks. Movie tickets. Autorickshaw rides. Rapido bike rides. And, less frequently, clothes, shoes and gifts for friends’ happy birthdays. It’s a never-ending drain on our resources but one that we have, unfortunately, had to learn to live with.
Some parents don’t seem to be too bothered with this and seem to think it’s okay for teenagers to blow thousands of rupees every month on random frivolous expenses. Not on things that kids necessarily need, only stuff they want. Stuff they can easily do without. Yes, parents with higher disposable incomes might not feel the pinch while those on a tighter budget may find frivolous spending harder to deal with. But regardless of their parents’ financial means, I do find it bothersome that most teenagers these days refuse to understand that money in middle-class households is hard-earned and that it is a limited resource. Someone has had to work hard to earn the damn stuff and others need to be prudent while spending.
If you haven’t earned it yourself, is it fair to spend thousands of rupees every month on expensive coffee, pizza and cab rides? Not just occasionally but frequently? Most kids these days seem to think it’s perfectly okay to take money freely from parents. There is no sense of fiscal responsibility. There is no accountability. There is no understanding of where the money is coming from, what it takes to earn that money and why it must be spent carefully. And things get more difficult, incredibly difficult, when of the two, any one parent is excessively indulgent and allows a teenager to spend freely, sometimes even hiding such expenses from the more strict parent.
When one parent tries to reign in teenage spending and the other parent either quietly or openly supports and encourages that spending, the teenager often takes full advantage of the situation. He/she knows which parent will say ‘no’ to an expenditure and hence goes to the other parent (or a grandparent, if living together) when money is needed. This dilutes the authority of the parent who’s saying ‘no’ and makes him or her look like they’re the villain, while the parent/grandparent giving out money freely becomes the hero/saviour/saint for the said teenager. The situation can be damn tough and those who may have faced something similar will probably understand where I’m coming from.
What I really don’t understand is, how – and why – kids these days assume that it’s their God-given birthright to constantly demand that parents keep buying expensive stuff for them? The latest Apple iPhone, which all teenagers seem to be inexplicably obsessed with. Clothes and sneakers from high-end brands. 800-rupee pizza. 400-rupee coffee. 500-rupee movie ticket. 1,200-rupee cab ride. Lunches and dinners at fancy restaurants. Rinse and repeat. Day after day after day. How in hell did we ever get here? When did it become okay for teenagers – those who haven’t yet started earning themselves and who are reliant on parents for all their requirements – to spend money like it’s going out of fashion?
When I was 17-18 years old, I’d just entered college in Lucknow and had a large group of friends there, many of whom were from my days in school in St. Francis College or Lucknow Christian College. We had a great time in college and did enjoy ourselves very much indeed, but I don’t remember having to ask my parents for large sums of money to spend on ‘fun’ things. Yes, I understand, it was a completely different time and things were very different back then compared with how it is now. But, still, I think my friends and I had, back then, a moral compass that’s now gone missing. Which told us that it was not cool to constantly badger our parents for money. We got by on whatever little we were willingly given (not forcibly extracted) and we were happy. I don’t think we even felt the need to ask – demand – for more. We instinctively knew that money was a limited resource, that are parents worked hard to earn whatever money they had and that it was important to spend that money carefully and with restraint.
We were happy to celebrate at home and there was never any question of taking friends out to expensive restaurants for meals, on birthdays. We were perfectly happy to go to the college canteen for chai and samosa – there was no Starbucks back then, thank God. Near my house in Lucknow, there was a halwai nearby called Mathura Walla (regrettably, the shop seems to have disappeared in recent years) who served up some excellent jalebi and stuffed kachori with aloo ki sabzi. That is where my friends and I used to go sometimes, when we wanted to go out for a ‘treat.’ And on the rare occasions when one or more of us was feeling really rich (usually after an indulgent aunt or a generous uncle had given us Rs 100 while visiting out house!), we’d maybe go for a chicken frankie at Rover’s, near Hazratganj, or to Tunday Kebabi in Aminabad for kebab-paranthe. And, of course, we used our bicycles to go to wherever it was we were going. Pedal power ruled the day for the most part – there were no ride-hailing services back then. But, yes, there were noisy, smoky, rattling old three-wheeler ‘Tempos’ that one could share with a bunch of other people on days when we really didn’t want to ride our bicycles – these three-wheelers were cheap and easily accessible (though quite uncomfortable) public transport in those pre-Metro days.
What I’m essentially saying is, maybe because my own life was so much simpler than what kids see these days, it’s hard – very hard – for me to accept the free-spending habits of today’s teenagers. When I was 17-18 years old, it was anathema for me to ask my parents for more money. If I had enough money to maybe buy one or two magazines a month, maybe get a used book or two, buy a music cassette or perhaps go to watch a movie and hang out at the local halwai shop for chai samosa with my friends once or twice a month, I was quite happy with that. I never wanted or expected more, and I suspect the same was true for the vast majority of my friends.
I accept that things have changed – the world is not what it used to be 50 years ago. But I don’t suppose the basic tenets of responsible spending have changed. Yes, of course, parents should – and must, to the extent possible – take care of their children’s essential requirements. But luxury has to be treated liked a privilege, not birthright. In today’s context, an 18,000-rupee smartphone may be ‘essential’ for 18-year-olds to be able to function but a 90,000-rupee iPhone is definitely wasteful indulgence. While most parents want their kids to be happy and have a fun, fulfilling childhood, I sincerely wish kids these days also made a sincere effort to understand that their parents might not necessarily be in a position to buy for them all the ‘stuff’ which, perhaps, some of their friends’ parents might buy without a second thought. That basic comprehension on the part of teenagers would make all lives just so much easier.
And here’s one last thing I’d like to add here. When one parent says ‘no’ to a teenager for an expense that he/she deems frivolous/excessive/wasteful, the other parent – or even a grandparent – should never step in and either openly say ‘yes’ to that same expenditure, or quietly, secretly hand out the money anyway. This 'good cop, bad cop' scenario establishes multiple ‘power centres’ within a household and prevents the teenager from learning the importance of responsible spending, understanding that money is a finite resource and that the reckless, thoughtless spending of it is not cool, especially when it’s money that you haven’t earned on your own.
On my part, I'm telling my son that when he turns 18 in February 2026, I'll open a savings bank account for him in ICICI Bank, along with a demat account, and that he needs to start saving some money and, hopefully, even start investing some money in mutual funds as soon as possible. Too much to ask for? We'll see... :-)
Most parents – certainly including my wife and I – have come to accept the fact that everyday there will be demands for UPI payments. Cabs. Coffee. Snacks. Movie tickets. Autorickshaw rides. Rapido bike rides. And, less frequently, clothes, shoes and gifts for friends’ happy birthdays. It’s a never-ending drain on our resources but one that we have, unfortunately, had to learn to live with.
Some parents don’t seem to be too bothered with this and seem to think it’s okay for teenagers to blow thousands of rupees every month on random frivolous expenses. Not on things that kids necessarily need, only stuff they want. Stuff they can easily do without. Yes, parents with higher disposable incomes might not feel the pinch while those on a tighter budget may find frivolous spending harder to deal with. But regardless of their parents’ financial means, I do find it bothersome that most teenagers these days refuse to understand that money in middle-class households is hard-earned and that it is a limited resource. Someone has had to work hard to earn the damn stuff and others need to be prudent while spending.
If you haven’t earned it yourself, is it fair to spend thousands of rupees every month on expensive coffee, pizza and cab rides? Not just occasionally but frequently? Most kids these days seem to think it’s perfectly okay to take money freely from parents. There is no sense of fiscal responsibility. There is no accountability. There is no understanding of where the money is coming from, what it takes to earn that money and why it must be spent carefully. And things get more difficult, incredibly difficult, when of the two, any one parent is excessively indulgent and allows a teenager to spend freely, sometimes even hiding such expenses from the more strict parent.
When one parent tries to reign in teenage spending and the other parent either quietly or openly supports and encourages that spending, the teenager often takes full advantage of the situation. He/she knows which parent will say ‘no’ to an expenditure and hence goes to the other parent (or a grandparent, if living together) when money is needed. This dilutes the authority of the parent who’s saying ‘no’ and makes him or her look like they’re the villain, while the parent/grandparent giving out money freely becomes the hero/saviour/saint for the said teenager. The situation can be damn tough and those who may have faced something similar will probably understand where I’m coming from.
What I really don’t understand is, how – and why – kids these days assume that it’s their God-given birthright to constantly demand that parents keep buying expensive stuff for them? The latest Apple iPhone, which all teenagers seem to be inexplicably obsessed with. Clothes and sneakers from high-end brands. 800-rupee pizza. 400-rupee coffee. 500-rupee movie ticket. 1,200-rupee cab ride. Lunches and dinners at fancy restaurants. Rinse and repeat. Day after day after day. How in hell did we ever get here? When did it become okay for teenagers – those who haven’t yet started earning themselves and who are reliant on parents for all their requirements – to spend money like it’s going out of fashion?
When I was 17-18 years old, I’d just entered college in Lucknow and had a large group of friends there, many of whom were from my days in school in St. Francis College or Lucknow Christian College. We had a great time in college and did enjoy ourselves very much indeed, but I don’t remember having to ask my parents for large sums of money to spend on ‘fun’ things. Yes, I understand, it was a completely different time and things were very different back then compared with how it is now. But, still, I think my friends and I had, back then, a moral compass that’s now gone missing. Which told us that it was not cool to constantly badger our parents for money. We got by on whatever little we were willingly given (not forcibly extracted) and we were happy. I don’t think we even felt the need to ask – demand – for more. We instinctively knew that money was a limited resource, that are parents worked hard to earn whatever money they had and that it was important to spend that money carefully and with restraint.
We were happy to celebrate at home and there was never any question of taking friends out to expensive restaurants for meals, on birthdays. We were perfectly happy to go to the college canteen for chai and samosa – there was no Starbucks back then, thank God. Near my house in Lucknow, there was a halwai nearby called Mathura Walla (regrettably, the shop seems to have disappeared in recent years) who served up some excellent jalebi and stuffed kachori with aloo ki sabzi. That is where my friends and I used to go sometimes, when we wanted to go out for a ‘treat.’ And on the rare occasions when one or more of us was feeling really rich (usually after an indulgent aunt or a generous uncle had given us Rs 100 while visiting out house!), we’d maybe go for a chicken frankie at Rover’s, near Hazratganj, or to Tunday Kebabi in Aminabad for kebab-paranthe. And, of course, we used our bicycles to go to wherever it was we were going. Pedal power ruled the day for the most part – there were no ride-hailing services back then. But, yes, there were noisy, smoky, rattling old three-wheeler ‘Tempos’ that one could share with a bunch of other people on days when we really didn’t want to ride our bicycles – these three-wheelers were cheap and easily accessible (though quite uncomfortable) public transport in those pre-Metro days.
What I’m essentially saying is, maybe because my own life was so much simpler than what kids see these days, it’s hard – very hard – for me to accept the free-spending habits of today’s teenagers. When I was 17-18 years old, it was anathema for me to ask my parents for more money. If I had enough money to maybe buy one or two magazines a month, maybe get a used book or two, buy a music cassette or perhaps go to watch a movie and hang out at the local halwai shop for chai samosa with my friends once or twice a month, I was quite happy with that. I never wanted or expected more, and I suspect the same was true for the vast majority of my friends.
I accept that things have changed – the world is not what it used to be 50 years ago. But I don’t suppose the basic tenets of responsible spending have changed. Yes, of course, parents should – and must, to the extent possible – take care of their children’s essential requirements. But luxury has to be treated liked a privilege, not birthright. In today’s context, an 18,000-rupee smartphone may be ‘essential’ for 18-year-olds to be able to function but a 90,000-rupee iPhone is definitely wasteful indulgence. While most parents want their kids to be happy and have a fun, fulfilling childhood, I sincerely wish kids these days also made a sincere effort to understand that their parents might not necessarily be in a position to buy for them all the ‘stuff’ which, perhaps, some of their friends’ parents might buy without a second thought. That basic comprehension on the part of teenagers would make all lives just so much easier.
And here’s one last thing I’d like to add here. When one parent says ‘no’ to a teenager for an expense that he/she deems frivolous/excessive/wasteful, the other parent – or even a grandparent – should never step in and either openly say ‘yes’ to that same expenditure, or quietly, secretly hand out the money anyway. This 'good cop, bad cop' scenario establishes multiple ‘power centres’ within a household and prevents the teenager from learning the importance of responsible spending, understanding that money is a finite resource and that the reckless, thoughtless spending of it is not cool, especially when it’s money that you haven’t earned on your own.
On my part, I'm telling my son that when he turns 18 in February 2026, I'll open a savings bank account for him in ICICI Bank, along with a demat account, and that he needs to start saving some money and, hopefully, even start investing some money in mutual funds as soon as possible. Too much to ask for? We'll see... :-)
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